Thursday, March 05, 2009

Defeat is a matter of attitude, yet there are moments in our days when no matter how strong you think you can be, you crumble. When so much is riding upon you, when so many are depending on you, when you have given so much of your soul already, sometimes its hard to continue. Yes, you fill yourself up with positive affirmations, follow through with positive action, still there are times that no matter what you do you can't seem to shake the feelings that you are drowning.

Sometimes we feel so alone, so lost we begin to doubt everything about ourselves, our quest, our worth, our talents. We stifle the tears and harden our hearts till the look on a loved one reminds us that we are not superhuman after all, but poor, miserable beings struggling to find a way back to our Divineness. I think that's why I love nature so much. The Divine is so apparent in all of nature's simplicity. It so healing, so peaceful, so empowering, she inspires. Unlike humans, she is not difficult, let alone impossible to figure out.

Have you ever notice how badly we hurt each other? I seem to do this on so many levels without even trying. Most times it seems that the more I try to reach out the harder it is for me, the more I actually mess up. God, will I ever get it right?

Time to be tough again. Time to break out the old armor and steel my heart come what may.

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