Thursday, May 28, 2009

Crying...Feeling Like I'm Dying, by Vivian Hadding...The Evil Emperor's Song

Wake up screaming in the middle of the night
Every time you reach out to touch me
Some words cannot be taken back
Some hurts can not be undone
I try to hide the pain behind a pretty dress
Hoping the colors, the flowers make me smile
But its all on the outside any more
The real me has long been vacant
You'd know this
If you ever took the time to know me
Visions of two weeks ago keep trying to surface
And I've tried so hard to push them back
Your anger, your spite
How could you be so cold
How can you come after me like this
Breaking down the door
Pushing me around
Fist in my face...your breath just a hair width away
I cry, I feel I've died and I can not stop now
How can anything hurt so bad inside
I've put up with so much from you
Years...almost two decades of your control
Oh, and I've tried so hard to be everything you need
I've tried so hard to believe
But, its never enough for you
I'm nothing you tell me
Worst, I'm the biggest whore
But, its you who have betrayed us
You who project all your hate towards us
How can anyone stand up to that
And I've loved you so deeply in the past
But, now all seems so bleak...so black
I'm lost and so alone
And there's no one to trust
And there's no one to hold me
And tell me everything will be alright
It hurts, it hurts so very much
Broken, that's what I am
Like Humpty Dumpty
And I wonder
Will I ever be whole again
Some times lately I wake up
And I don't know where I am
Yesterday, when I looked at my watch
My mind went blank
I walked for half an hour trying to understand
And some days I wake up crying
Feeling like I'm dying
And you've pushed me around so many times before
And, you've pinned me to the floor
And there's no leaving you
Cause you'll chase me all the way to hell
I thought you were my knight in shiny armor
Once I even thought you were my friend
But you're the Black Knight
And I'm locked away in your lonely tower
And there's no one can save me
But me, myself
And I wonder
If I'll ever grow some wings
And when I do will they sustain me

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