Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Warrior...Part III, from Songs for the Dragon King, by Vivian Hadding

"You don't understand."

"I don't understand what?" He demanded.

"How I feel. How much it hurts."

"Then don't let it." He stated flatly.

"Just like that...like that? Oh, so easy for you." She cried. "You, you men...all of you so hard, so cold, so uncaring. You say you're my friend, but you don't know the first thing that drives me." She walked away from him again, so angry, so hurt, feeling so rejected. She wanted to run, scream, fight him, hold him...something. She was wound so tight she felt she might explode. She hated him for not understanding. She hated herself for feeling so weak.

"Take it easy Shulinn...breathe." He told her. She was making him nervous.

She took a deep breath. "Sure, sure Ikomorushi, anything you say." She let it go. It was no use. The only one that ever understood her was the Dragon King and he had abandoned her..He her best and only friend. She pushed him out of her mind too. She couldn't trust any of them...she wouldn't ever again.

He saw her exhale, shoulders slump. She seemed so small, so lost and alone. "What's going on Shulinn?" He asked her.

"Him." She whispered. "He's everywhere and I can't escape him. "

"Who?"

"The Emperor." She whispered. "His men, his spies...He said he would destroy me and I fear he will succeed and not even the Dragon King can help me this time."

"He's just a man Shulinn...just a man."

"No...no. " She cried. "You don't know him. He has stolen my land and with it my power. He is part Mahoutsukai now and even the Rei must obey him." She held back the sobs that threatened to choke her. Hot, silent tears began to flow down her cheeks. She scrubbed them off roughly, angry at herself again. She turned away not wanting him to see her so vulnerable.

"I try to be so strong." She continued. "I spar everyday in the woods. I try to prepare myself for what's to come. But its just a mask, some leather to bind my heart so it won't fail me."

"What is it you want Shulinn?" He was angry, confused.

"Want...want?" She echoed his words and a fresh wave of anger nearly swept her away. She did not understand her feelings. At the moment all she really wanted...all she really needed was for him to wrap her in his arms and tell her everything would turn out OK. But he didn't and not knowing how to ask him she squared her shoulders, turned and faced him, smiled politely and bid him good night.

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