Just random sketches...Sometimes you need to see where your mind wants to go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Much has happened since I first began this blog.  Life has a way of shifting, pushing, pulling and reshaping us as if it were a piece of taffy. At times it seems as if all we can do is hang on as the wind whips us and threatens to destroy us from the outside, never mind the inner winds of fears too long repressed.Still, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 

This is the story of rediscovery of Self, of Joy, of Life, at least for me once again through art. Here you may witness some of my struggles as well as triumphs, however small in Digital illustrations, particularly learning Clip Studio EX and who knows I may post a new piece done in traditional media from time to time as well... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And this one is part of a story book I am working on.  It is a based on a six month shamanic quest.                 

Another shamanic sketch in various stages of completion.

This is one of a series of illustrations I did while journeying shamanisticly.  Yes, I know, its rather odd, but so are the whispers of our souls and all such inner journeys.

It's been quite a while since I've had time to post.  I've been a hero's journey, one my soul begged for despite my mind's warning. I've done my best to breathe, face my fears, grow and stay afloat, amidst the constant shifts and changes.

Time, security and sometimes even love seem the ultimate sacrifice for authenticity. And yet, how can we as dreamers, believers, artists and explorers do otherwise?  We are driven by this great need to be genuine, to embark upon these quests propelled by our souls desire to understand, assimilate, share and express.  We do so with the risk of facing great challenges and the very palatable fear of failure.  And yet, hope whispers granting glimpses of the unknown and the possibility of achieving wonders not yet dreamed of. 
 
Despite another avalanche of changes, I still my mind and again lean forward to drink from the well of the unknown. I reach out embracing this new chapter of my life and the eternal quest for growth and deeper understanding.  In the days, weeks and months to come I will begin to post once more.  I will share a glimpse of various projects I have been working on.  Some posts will deal with older, unfinished projects long dormant. As with any story or particular chapters of life, sometimes they must be put aside until we acquire clearer vision and wisdom to proceed.

I wish all of us creative visionaries, artists, writers, poets, storytellers, dancers, musicians, shamans, healers,crafters of all sorts, and all of humanity, success in our endeavors to create a better, more authentic, beautiful world. Peace, love and light. <3>

Dreams and Whispers by Vivian Hadding

I understand the reasons why you're angry
The come and go of your affection
Life is cold and you're so hungry
And forgotten myths
Still they haunt you
I don't know why
But that's the price we pay
For fairy wishes
And midnight visions
Its never easy for a dreamer
A noble cause
A knight so eager
But the princess was broken
Long before she was queen
Some fools frown and lecture
Few seldom believe
Be still and breathe, she whispers
Be still and breathe

Oh West Wind

These were our dreams

But we a shattered mess

Chasing love, trying to believe

Fear screaming and hearts wielding

Against all odds like curtains swept aside

Oh fierce west winds you've broken all our hearts

Like panes of glass, shards small and large

Cracked pots with weeds and roses all entwined

How shall we face this bold new dawn?

With faith in freedom's light

We fight

But no, the answer lies

Tis not our right to hold so tight

Let go and trust whispers the north

And in the end all wrongs will right

Music flows and words they fall

Collect them all

Bandage our souls

West wind relax your hold

Gentle, gentle you must blow

Whispering soft soothing songs

Pick up the pieces and now we're one

You and I as eagles fly

A feather floats into my hand

Sweet kiss, reminder of a promised past

But it's all right oh gentle wind

In the end all we need is what we have.

Vivian Hadding

July 23, 2014

Work in progress....

Sweet Hugs and Kisses, Protection and Bliss

What is it about children that tear at your heart
Is it a curse being a Mom
We give them everything...as much as we can
Its never enough, not our love nor our time
We have precious little as we stumble half blind
Hurrying and striving to do all that we can
The dishes, the laundry, the cooking and gardening
The homework, their projects, plays, puppies and camping...
Hundreds of cookies, dozens of pies, butter cream frosting, cakes a mile high...
Pink Easter baskets, chocolate eggs, bright jack o' lanterns, paper mache'...
And what of those Christmases not long ago...hand made stockings, glittering cones,
Bedtime stories, prayers and a kiss
Promising always protection and bliss...

Then divorce like disaster takes hold of your life
In the blink of an eye nothing is right
No money for goodies, no time to bake pies...
No skating, no dancing, they give it all up
Yet you all forge onward working so hard
Struggling to make it, great sacrifice
And just when you thought you all might have a chance
Growth spurts ahead, rebellion a chant

They watch and they need you, perhaps more than before
And a year, then two passes and suddenly grown
They begin to embrace their own private lives...
Conversations gets harder, communication more strained
The fear in their eyes colder, pain harder to bear
And those innocent faces once overflowing with joy
Seem distant, demanding and so very lost

You wonder what happen, where you messed up
Instead of closer, you've all moved apart
Work always consumes you, time's not on your side
Something has severed, some bond, some tie
And no one is listening when you try to talk
The subject too tender, the memories too harsh

You must have failed them,

And, somewhere along the line
You didn't pay enough attention
You didn't listen to your heart
You tried to understand the questions
You tried to heal all their wounds
You wanted to be a pillar of strength
You were a fool to have tried

Too long you had waited...too long you had dreamed
Until the child in you retreated
Until the child in you gave up
You began to let go of them
As they warned you to do
You prepared yourself for the inevitable...Can such love ever last

So you Lifted them higher,

Prayed the moon to keep their hearts.

And summoned forth your brother...Oh wind do gently keep them!
And you whispered to the moon
You prayed for their safe keeping
You wished the earth to heal their wounds
You let them be as they had begged you
You turned to your music, your dance and your art.

They could not understand you
They could not follow in your steps
Your muse, your inner magic, your need to heal
Still you went forward day after day
Fighting the good fight, lighting their way
Trying to help them the best that you could

Perhaps non of them saw it, perhaps non of them cared
For where was their Mommy
Oh, where had she gone
Who's sweet hugs and kisses had kept back the dark
No, not this half stranger too busy to see
That non of it mattered, perhaps such dreams never did...