Its been a long time since I signed on to this blog...a long time since my last post. I used to feel so guilty about withdrawing from the world...Family and friends never quite seem to understand. To them its seems a sort of betrayal, to me...survival. Some of us just can't work/function without periods of deep silences to grow and reflect...To absorb and release.

Life for me is an endless school, a painful/blissful journey of steps towards Self-discovery and realization of Self...Dreams and manifestation. That takes a lot of truth and healing the deeper we go, the more open we are to our authentic nature. You need...well, I need periods of total abandonment....A safe haven where I can fall and get up again a zillion times if need be, without fear of judgment, ridicule, or the need to keep pace with others.

Ah...the pleasure and pain of your own drumbeat....Some of us just need to dance with the wind.

I've been reading some wonderful stories of late, the Song of the Lioness series by Tamora Pierce...Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke, The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon...a powerful lyrical read. Then there is Neil Gaiman's Marvel 1602 and Mr. Punch....Will Dixon's short but profound Soul of a Samurai and Linda Medley's Castle Waiting, because I love fairytales in all their forms, shapes and sizes. I've spent time reading and rereading an assortment of Fairy Books by Andrew Lang, I have eleven of them that I bought for my children the first year of our home schooling journey. At the moment I'm in the middle of the Brown Fairy Book , Syd Field's Screenplay: The Foundations of Screenwriting and The Templars: Knight of God, by Edward Burman.

I've been doing a lot of writing too, working on one of the books in a saga. A graphic novel project I began two years ago in January 2004. Its a monumental task...a true labor of love, pain and healing, like so much of my life.

Here's one of the many random illustrations I've been allowing myself to explore. Obviously there's a lot wrong with it, but this piece is for me, not an ad director. Its an experimental piece for the child within.

Well, I'm off to read, walk, paint, write, sketch and play some more....Happy Holidays.