Sunday, January 24, 2010

There's something about dreams, about visions, not the ordinary kind, but the ones your soul makes up in order to carry on. Those are the magical ones. The ones that live between the heart and soul. Like whispers in the winds of our minds urging us onward...telling us it will all work out.

I have those dreams, those visions and I can't stop myself either. Try as I might I need those dreams...those silent wishes.

There's my Dragon King dream and at the moment it seems to be one of the most important. Why? Because, he pushes me past what I thought I could achieve. Because he believed in me and my capacity to lose more than I ever thought I could, and to trust more than I thought I was capable of. Because he showed me who I really am and who I want to be and they are both the same. Because he broke the illusion the Emperor had cast over me and dared me to really see

He frustrates me this Dragon King. I don't understand him fully. I can't seem to shake him even when it hurts so much and his spirit seems so far away. I swear to myself that I will let go once and for all, at least once a day. However, eventually his presence creeps back in again gently, sweetly and unexpectedly. Because of him...of all these thoughts and emotions I have of him, I work harder. I immerse myself in my talents, trying desperately to forget, forgive and perhaps one day figure him out.

He's my imaginary heart, my soul, my love. Why? God only knows, but, there's some tie between him and I...some unfinished business. Perhaps its just my spiritual growth and he's here to inspire and direct me. Not in the sense of telling me what to do, but in the sense that his presence or thoughts of him keep me feeling strong, loved and less alone. This is why we write. This is why we create characters in our hearts, in our minds.

We are artists, we are dreamers, we are storytellers and believers. We write, sketch, dance, sing, play and paint because we must. We do this in order to order to survive.


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